Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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