i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
