Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
