We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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