he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
