Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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