just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
