remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
