your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she woke up with a sticky ear
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
