Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
