he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
