I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
