Buhtt sex?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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