6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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