We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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