Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
