am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
