is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
