he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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