So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
