even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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