matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
