I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
