I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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