does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
