oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
