i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it's great music for shaving your balls
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
