she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
