Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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