At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my shit smells like andre
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
