Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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