he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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