But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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