Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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