Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
