He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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