good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
