found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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