Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
