Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
