You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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