sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
