I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
