spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I would fuck him just for his dog
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
