Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
