i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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