I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
whose ass print is on the piano?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
