I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Are my feet made of real feet?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
