no, he came in my armpit
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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