Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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