Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
