Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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