The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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